It's Not About Quarters

Toward the end of the 90s when I was about eleven or twelve, my family and I drove down to Jackson, MS. My stepmother, Donnia, may have had nursing business down there, but I'm not sure since she just had Samuel.

We had an old green and white camper trailer. It had yellow tiled floor, two bunk beds, a tiny bathroom, and a little kitchen and space area to watch TV and lay down on the couch. It's the only trip I remember really using it. I can't remember if my parents had a good time, how Samuel held up, or even much of what we did. I just remember two things from the trailer park complex where we stayed: a Simpsons arcade game in the playhouse and the swimming pool.

You know the Simpsons game - you play as either Homer, Marge, Bart, or Lisa. You fight a bunch of baddies through multiple stages to try to get back Maggie who was kidnapped by Smithers. I played with Bart who had a skateboard as a weapon. There were a bunch of stages with a boss at the end, and other players could jump in at any time. 25 cents. I would play and play and could only get through a few stages with the quarters I had.

I mostly hung out at the swimming pool though. Dad would let me go swim by myself, and that was fine by me. One day, I was swimming and met a little girl. I cannot remember her name or what she look liked. I remember us talking a mile a minute, both of us impressing we took swimming lessons and could swim in the deep end. She talked a lot about Titanic and Leonardo DiCaprio, so I know it was post-1997. I wouldn't see that movie for another few years, so she described in detail the ending and how much she loved it. A recurring theme in my childhood was to act out events from movies - "space cadet" as Dad would call it. So that's what we did. I played Jack and she played Rose and I had to tell her I loved her and let go and sink to the bottom of the pool and all that. It was kiddy fun.

I eventually told her about the Simpsons game inside, how I couldn't beat it and needed help and didn't have enough quarters. She said she was trying to get through that game too. It was a meeting of the minds. We went back into the arcade room with our combined quarters, and yes reader, we beat the Simpsons. Don't ask what happened at the end. I haven't beaten it since. I’m sure we got Maggie back.

Toward the end of the trip, she said she wanted me to come over to her trailer. I forgot if my family or her family was leaving first. Doesn't matter. I went to her trailer, knocked on the door, and her mother or grandmother let me in. She told me the little girl would be just a second. She finally came out of the back wearing lots of red lipstick, and we went back outside. She handed me a piece of paper, and we hugged and said we would miss each other. Then I left. So, no, this isn't the story of my first kiss.

This is the story of that piece of paper. And why it is relevant to something that's happened to me recently.

Walking back to our camper, I read the note. I don't remember the exact words, but I remember what it was about. It said something to the effect that I was cuter than DiCaprio and kind and should never change and was/could be/am the best boyfriend ever. I dunno. Something like that. That was the message.

I was so proud of that. I've remembered that little girl's message forever. I have since tried to be the nice Southern gentlemen and friend, but it comes to a head as you get older. It gets hard. You begin to understand you and acquaintances are tempted with power, money, status, ambition, etc.

I ran into some bad company recently who wanted nothing more than to use me. I began to call their bluff and sank down to their level of discouragement and demeaning. I cursed at the situation and how mean of a person I became in order to handle it...then I realized something. You can choose who you are around. Simple grandmother, no-duh advice. But man, is it becoming important to remember nowadays.

This entry is mainly cathartic and an effort to remind myself of my long-lost, little friend. Obviously, nobody can keep up childhood innocence, but we can choose our friends, and those friends should bring out the good and child-like qualities me and the little girl had in the 90s. She wanted nothing, and I wanted nothing. I didn't want her quarters. And she wasn't looking to use her quarters on that machine. It just worked out. When you find the right friend, there's no hidden anger, resentment, or jealousy. There's just that person's smiling face and a shared bond where we want to help each other for the better.

Yea, I’m still learning this stuff.

Tom Brady vs. Defense

Is this what it's gonna look like all the way to the Super Bowl?

Tom Brady.......................................Samuel
Defensive Lineman..........................Me

Let's Try This Again

Ok, so my old blogger site (http://actorboy811.blogspot.com/) sorta died.

Im gonna try again. I moved to California and got lazy and stopped writing. Well, I got a second wind, so here we go again. The first two posts are from the old blog...just to start off with something.

Gotta stay creative and reflective!

Laurie

I used the off ramp
When your picture came up,
Losing track of the way
To San Clemente.

Watching headlights retreat,
My mind was made up.
Stubbornness. You made me forget
I dreamed of a thousand flashing bulbs.

One look, and I'm ready to reverse
All those orange miles.
You make this too easy.
Do you realize your pose makes decisions for men?

Audition

The boy dabbed his dark pants with a paper towel and checked the bathroom wall mirror twice to make sure the stain was gone. Whatever he spilled on his pants wasn’t going to hinder his moment this afternoon. He was willing to work hard to book this event. Bravery and experience was all it really took. All the movies, TV shows, commercials, songs, and books had taught him that. His experienced, special agent had taught him that as well. This agent had also given him a heads-up that morning of where he needed to be, and he had rushed downtown ready to give the lines.

He had memorized all the lines that night before. Saying them into his own bathroom mirror, he had judged his facial ticks and mannerisms. He needed to give off a true vibe, one of a true natural human being. He had obsessively thought about finding the best way to give them. He had talked with his roommate the night before. The roommate had his own advice for owning the room, but the boy knew it was up to him and his personality at the end of the day. He obsessed about them too much, he knew, but then again, didn’t everyone like him do the same?

He walked out of the bathroom with only two mild wet spots. He tried not to think about it. He exited into the lobby of the busy fast food place he shouldn’t have eaten at beforehand and headed to the door. The place he was heading was next door, a very unlikely place to have such a confrontation. He had heard stories how the most famous people had met the people who changed their lives in these most crummiest and unlikely of places.

Not that the place was crummy, in fact, it was bustling. People his age going in and out. Are these people trying to impress similiar people? No, he figured that's just the judgement and extra gunk that has to be pushed out of the head in these situations.

He walked in the room and asked the nearest person where he was heading. The lady nodded and directed him into another room. The boy made his down the hall and at that point, he realized he should have snatched an extra towel to dab his face and forehead. This was his face time. This was his time to shine and spill his guts. Releasing everything he memorized and thought about the night before.

He entered the room and found it was perfect timing. It was his turn. He walked up to the table. Three sets of eyes stared at him up and down, taking him in, seeing if he fit the part. He knew it was time to slate. He focused his energy to the person in the middle of the table.

“Hi. Remember me from class? I was wondering if you wanna meet up later tonight to go to a movie?” he thought he remembered asking.

The girl started to smile to herself then quickly pursed her lips as if trying to express a blank reaction. Her head sank down, but her solemn blue eyes looked up at him already holding the answer.

“No hun. I’m busy tonight.”

“Okay. That’s cool. I just remembered I forgot something in my car.”

The boy nodded and smiled blankly then exited back through the sports bar as quickly as seemed natural. He was not crushed by her response, but he was already texting for advice on his next audition.