I have an off day and once again, I lost track on what that means I'm supposed to do. Right, the monologue!
I have an audition in a couple of hours. My second this week, so yay, but wasn't there supposed to be something else I was working on?
This has turned into my problem. Time management. Multi-tasking. Procrastinating. I have an off day, and I'm off track. Oh, I have all these dreams and ideas running through my head I can't do anything with when I'm working, away from this computer and the quiet confines of my apartment. But when I'm here...nothing.
I have to work on the specifics. I have to get this monologue down. I need to find someone to shoot me. I need to secure a photographer in a few weeks. New headshots mean I need to send out mailings like this casting director book I've been reading says. I have the envelopes and stamps and pens. Need more paper. I'm hungry. I can grab some fast food on the way back from my audition down at USC. Ugh, I gotta drive down there? Hope they get my oil changed on time. Just got a call. My timing belt is cracking? I need to look at some prices there before I said what to do. Hold off. I just locked my keys in my apartment and late for work. And I need to get the monologue down!
This is an idea of the past 24 hours. But they aren't problems. My problem is cerebral - finding a balance of time management, focus, and effort to get things done. It may sound like whining, but I know what gives me problems more than anybody. Right now, it's myself.
It's easy for people to tell me to just do it. Ha, if I hear that again, I'll smack ya. You can't "just do it" out here. Not correctly and to my standards, anyway. There's a waiting game for everything. You can't get to B without first going through A.
For example:
A- Getting fit and saving money
B- Headshots
C- Mailings
D- Interviews
E- Agent
F- Audition
...and so on.
Something has to happen BEFORE the thing you WANT to happen does. Like it says above, I can't get a proper audition without first getting fit and saving money. Things effect other things. This is why it is taking forever to show what I can do out here. I can't stay consistent or organized right now.
The problem is me. I don't ask for sympathy or even encouragment, even though both don't do me any harm. I ask for understanding that I can't be the coolest kid I can be right now as rear back again to tackle the beast.
Oh yea, the monologue!
