This past week I've carred a little, compact notebook everywhere with good results. It's crummy advice to jumpstart your writing muscle, but it's effective for me right now. Ideas and thoughts aren't escaping, and I've been able to hold on and develp a narrative for the times I've been having lately. Here's some excerpts.

MOVIEGOERS ASSEMBLE!

I'd like to briefly say something about The Avengers. Nevermind everyone's seen it, and it's been analyzed forward, backward, and upside down. I was preparing a review for it in May, but for some reason, I dropped the ball on it.

It is one of the great superhero movies, as far as a clear example of ensemble character work in movies. The first act developed slowly for my taste, and there was nothing ground-breaking storywise. However, perhaps these devices were deliberate in fleshing out superheroes in a universe that was years in the making.

With his involvement in this and Cabin in the Woods, Joss Whedon is behind the two most enjoyable movies of the year so far. His M.O. will always be dealing with character and conversation. Much like Scorsese does no wrong in mafia genre and Cameron pushes the envelope for visual effects, Whedon has a method of dealing with characters that won't get old any time soon.

A bit of a warning to Whedon and Marvel fans alike: beware of awarding the man a sort of entitled greatness due to a tremendous track record. It's still a movie, albeit a very good one. But too many times I've come to blows with fans who were unwilling and unable to see any flaws or need for improvement. Don't let your adoration blind you to fundamental failures of movie mechanics. And this goes for Dark Knight and Hobbit fans too, so don't think there's a double standard.

Hold accountability when you go to the movies. After all, you paid for your ticket.

HAPPINESS COMES FROM YOUR OWN ACTIONS

I'm beginning to understand lately that my problems are just that. My problems. Anything I have to complain about in my life out here is simply because I decided to move out here in the first place.

What's frustrating is giving your all out here is not enough. Adult life requires inner strength, whether you find that from inspiration, a loved one, or God. It may take somebody I haven't even become yet to have my dreams realized. Or it may never happen. What is important is the ride, the quest to sustain happiness.

I have always held on to the theory as a little boy that I was going to do whatever it was that made me happy. That I was always going to have something to look forward to. Whether it was a TV show, birthday, or pizza - something to get excited about. This was my own philosophy, and it still rings true today.

It comes down to me. I'm the one that put myself in this position. I am the one that rejoices and suffers accordingly.

For example, I had an audition and callback for a meaty role in a short film through a USC. It didn't pay much, but the role fit me (midwest college boy going through transitional period blah blah blah). I wanted to give it my all, as a way of getting back into actor mode. The audition went great. I had a good meal beforehand. I found close parking. The wait wasn't that long. I had continuously been practicing and making choices. I was prepared when I went in and nailed it. The director was happy to meet me and almost immediately I got a callback. Tuesday night, I make the same preparations and go in. They barely remember me. I go through the scene and the only adjustment I get is "go quicker". After the thank you/goodbyes, it was out the door, and I haven't heard a thing since.

Such is the business, such is my state of mind.

PARTAY

With episodes like this and a full-time job, it's only human to desire a vacation. Not getting one til my birthday, but I tried to force a small one this past weekend.

Last Friday night, I met some new friends and was invited to a pool party the following day, Saturday. I took off from work and met them there. It was fun, at first. Lots of dancing, bikinis, alcohol, and adulterated fun. I had a good rapport with these people the night before.

After three hours of swimming and talking, four tan, macho guys with cowboy hats show up and began talking to us about the most uninteresting things. Trucks, chlorine, cowboy hats. It got to the point where I couldn't get to their level. I thanked my friends for the invite and left. Bad timing because of a booty-shaking contest, but you know...

Point is, I sought happiness and lived with the consequences. Even if this is a group of people I can't hang with, I was grateful I could free my mind from the stress.

I HEARD FIREWORKS BUT DIDN'T SEE ANY

In case you were wondering. That's been the case the past two years living out here. I miss the Spirit of Freedom celebration down at the river bottom of the Tennesse River, a mile from the house. All the tailgaters, the beer cans, the dirty rednecks, the confederate flags, jet skis and boats. Hell yea. I remember where I was every year the fireworks went off. They say the Fourth is a symbol of patriotism. It's a symbol of growing up and adolescence for me.

I have other thoughts too. Two of my roommates moved out. A new one moved in; she's a casting director, apparently. I'll be sure to exploit that. Internet cut out for 3 days. I haven't seen Spider-man yet, despite both a rave from a younger girlfriend and a pan from a filmmaker buddy. I'm close to booking a session with a renown photographer later on this month. I'm searching for scenes for a reel. And the "9 to 5" rolls on. For now.